Here comes goodbye.

Four years ago at this time I was in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years.  Pretty shy, very awkward, I'm almost positive I was in retainers still, and working the same summer job I have now.  I was getting ready to embark on my first year at Senior High Institute (fancy name for church camp).

I was really nervous, one because I had never gone to church camp before, and two because our church had just gotten a new youth pastor, and I hadn't met him yet.

In the Methodist Church, pastors don't get to stay in the same place forever.  They are moved around from area to area, church to church, and to my knowledge they don't have a whole lot of choice in when or where they go.

Alex Hershey was from Monticello, my home town, and his mother was my 6th grade (and favorite) english teacher.  He had grown up here, went to my high school, grown up in our church, and was blessed enough to have the opportunity to move back home and become our new youth pastor.

So, first week on the job, Alex is thrown into taking a small group of high school kids to camp.  I am one of these kids.  We get to Epworth Forest and find out that since our group is so small we have to share a cabin with another church.  I had never been to camp so I didn't realize this would be such an issue...however it turned out to be pretty much a disaster and we ended up leaving the cabin on the last night and all staying up all night in a random lodge playing foursquare and game cube.

This is just one of many times Alex took a non-ideal situation and turning it into a wonderful memory.  In the past four years I have been on countless retreats, ski trips, weeks at camp, and random trips with him and the rest of our youth group and we have become a family.

Because of Alex I accepted Christ.
Because of Alex I have confidence.
Because of Alex I am not ashamed to openly love Jesus.
And because of Alex I have come further in my faith.

He has taught me to strive to live simply, how to be a woman of God, how to play foursquare, and how to be an example for others.

You might be wondering why I decided to dedicate this post to him, four years after he began to make his impact.  Well, remember how I said pastors don't stay in the same place forever?  Alex is leaving.  This was his last Sunday preaching at my church, and let's just say service was a bit more emotional.  All those memories, funny stories, time spent together is going away with Alex and his family and I am at a loss for what to do.

I'm a bit over emotional as it is, but this man has had such a hand in who I have grown to be through high school.  I managed to hold it together pretty well at church, and this afternoon at the reception I knew it was time to leave before I let all the tears out.  But sitting here tonight I have lost it.  What do you do when someone that means so much to you is taken away?  It's not right to give up just because they're gone, but it will be so hard to bond with someone else the way we all have with Alex.

This morning at church our Senior Pastor said something that really made sense to me.  He said that even though it's extremely difficult to watch Alex leave, we wouldn't want it to be easy.  And that is so true.  I and all the other members of our congregation are so blessed to have had the opportunity to make the memories we have with him.  And we are so blessed to have grown and learned from everything he has to offer.  It's time for him to share his awesomeness with his new church, time for him to make such an impact on more people, to change the world even more than he already has.

So, here's to you Alex.  I don't know if you could possibly know how much you have influenced us, but I know you know how much you will be missed and remembered.

Goodness this is sounding like an obituary or something.

We love you, Godspeed, good luck, and stay in touch.

Fear Factor

I know they say texting and driving is deadly, but I think texting can be even more fatal in situations out of the driver's seat.

Mom always says that my friends and I have lost the ability to personally communicate, because we are much more likely to hide behind the protective shield of our cell phones and computer screens. 

 And it's so completely true. 

How many times do you hear of people breaking up over texts?

bullying on the internet?

& even online dating?

Every. Single. Day.

I'm not immune to this electronic illness, however I do realize how my capabilities of confident speaking,  courage, and face-to-face honesty have suffered because of this pandemic.  & in no way am I saying this is okay simply because I am aware I partake.  I am sickened by it.

It's like Adam & Eve.  Do you realize that we would all be walking around this earth naked had they not eaten that fruit and developed embarrassment?  A similar situation is developing with non-personal communication.  We feel safer behind our phones, less fearful when our words are spoken in letters and not sounds exchanged face-to-face.  Just like we feel more comfortable wearing clothes than we do strutting in our birthday suits.

Maybe this is a bad analogy, because I am also not in any way encouraging nudity.  However, I am encouraging honesty. Courage. Guts if you will.

My friends and I joke around about Facebook chatting each other when we're sitting in the same room, but is that the future? 

Will it soon be that the only time people communicate is through some other form of media than their mouths?

I'm definitely not down with that.  So how about you and me grow a pair, buck up and say it to their faces next time.  People are always saying we are the future....maybe we can change it.

Would you like some cheese with that?

I have been told mostly by my mother a few times that I complain too much.

I hate to admit it's true.  I often fail to see the good in situations.  I take a lot for granted.  & I get envious and blow things out of proportion often.

But here's the deal:

It's summer.  I'm stuck at home.  & thanks to my obsession with Facebook and social networking I am constantly in the know of everyone else's rockstar summers.

I WANT THAT. 

I want to go on trips.

I want to be back at Butler for the summer.

I don't want to be working.

I want to go to tons of concerts.

Hang out with tons of friends all the time.

Go to the lake and be useless all day.

After the 50+ hour work week I have had (and am not getting paid overtime for) do I not have the right to whine just a little?

I really struggle to see how people don't have my same problem.  How is no one else incredibly depressed that they are stuck in TouristTown, USA for yet another summer?  How do other kids who don't go on relaxing/fun/free of work vacations deal with the suckiness of the situation?  And why am I the only one who seems to be mad about it?

While it may just seem that there's nothing going on simply because its storming out and I'm already ready for bed after working all day, I would jump at the chance to be sitting back in my sweltering dorm room watching movies and eating crappy food.

So, in lieu of my horrible attitude, I leave you with this,

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

-Ephesians 4:29

in hopes that you might think twice before ranting and raving about your sorrows like I do.