If you ever plan on eating at a restaurant again in your life...

What I'm here to say in this post is important, and needs to be learned by nearly every single person ever.

That is, unless they have ever been a waitress.

I have worked as a waitress for just over a year now in three different restaurants, and even though I don't have major experience, I have learned a thing or two about the restaurant industry.  But maybe more importantly about the customer service industry, and how we the people are epically failing those who work to serve us.  So whether you agree with what I'm saying or not, whether you've ever been a waitress, or ever worked in a customer service position, it's my hope that you will pass this message (or one like it) along to those in your life who you would hate to have their food spit in, not that that ever actually happens....

Ok so first let's think of the reasons why you go out to eat:

It's the weekend, you want to let loose and have some fun!

You're out to celebrate.

You just love the food and atmosphere of your favorite restaurant.

Family get togethers.

Random date night.

Whatever the case may be, you make the choice to go out to eat wherever you want for a reason, right?

Now, you get there and there's a wait.. well that shouldn't really come as a surprise because this is the best restaurant in town.  I mean, why else would YOU come here to eat?  The food is delicious, the atmosphere is enjoyable, it shouldn't come as a shock that other people think so too!

But here is where the dining experience often takes a plummeting pitfall.  You don't want to wait.  You shouldn't have to wait.  You're hungry.  You've got other things to do.  How much longer is this going to take.

You FINALLY get seated and your server seems a bit flustered.  The place is packed and they're setting up the band for the live music show.  All you want is a soda, beer, salad.  Where is my waitress?!

Let's hop outside your brain for a minute and consider the other people involved here.   First, the kitchen staff.  Those guys are working their tails off, in a likely sweltering kitchen, with hot, sharp equipment and orders coming in like crazy.  They have been at it for 6 hours now, the dinner rush just coming on.  Move outside the kitchen and there are the serving staff.  Pacing quickly to table after table, smiling, filling drinks, taking orders, answering to every beck and call.  Doing the best job they can given the kitchen back-up and hindered mobility around the restaurant due to the large crowd.

Okay back into your brain, it makes sense that you would be slightly antsy when you finally get seated and naturally you're thinking that your waiter has been waiting for you just as long as you've been waiting for them.  Ah, but patience grasshopper.  You're not the first table they've served tonight, and you won't be the last.  They have to provide excellent service to tens maybe hundreds of customers tonight.  So how do you think you would feel when in the middle of all this running around and people pleasing and trying to keep orders and salads and drinks straight, a customer begins to complain about how slow things seem to be moving?

Hold on because this right here is the important point I was talking about earlier!  It is NOT, I repeat NOT your waitress's fault that the restaurant is full.  Not her fault that there are only so many pop machines in the place to fill your glasses.  Not her fault that she isn't allowed behind the bar to pour your beer.  So do us all a favor and CALM THE HECK DOWN.  Yes, I do understand that some people just aren't cut out to be waitresses and they might elicit negative feedback and treatment, however this is usually not the case.

Check yourself people.  There are so many things going on behind the scenes of a busy restaurant that have absolutely nothing to do with you, your waitress, or the service you personally are receiving.  So calm down, please.  Be patient.  Be nice.  Treat your waitress how you want them to treat you.  They are after all responsible for your food and if they can tell from the beginning that your sour-puss attitude is probably not going to tip them well, they're going to immediately write you off and focus on the tables that have adequate social skills.  They're not going to waste precious time on a no-money table.

What I'm saying may not be the case for a super high scale, fancy shmancy, fine dining establishment.. but if you're reading my blog I doubt you eat at those anyway.  All I'm saying is if you take anything at all away from this message, be nice to restaurant staff when you go out to eat.  Your food's messed up? Your waitress is not the one who cooked it.  You had to wait 45 minutes for a table in the corner?  Well there was a reason you came to the place, looks like other people had the same idea tonight.  And last but not least...

TIP 20% Y'ALL!  

If that's too much you're cheap then at least double the tax as your tip (about 14%).  But never ever ever in the history of the 21st century has it been appropriate to tip 10% or less.  That's just rude.  And keep in mind that all of the waitresses are going to remember the one's who don't tip.  And they're gonna tell all their little waitress friends too.

Pet Peeves

Tonight at work I was faced with some unfortunately sub-par customers, and it really got me thinking about little thinks that grind my gears.  Everyone has pet peeves, I didn't realize I had so many...  Some of this list are stretching it, but I had to make it an even 10 (see peeve #1).

What are your pet peeves?  Do we share any ticks?  Hopefully if nothing else you'll get a giggle out of mine... I'll warn you, writing out all your least favorite things gets the heart rate going, so make sure you're prepared to unleash them all at one time... here goes:

My Top 10 Pet Peeves:

1. when people leave a ridiculously random change tip so their bill can be even.  I'm not your mom, I'm not impressed by your elementary math skills.  do me a favor and round up.

2. with that being said, bad tippers in general.  if you're leaving less than 15% tips (and you received what you would consider average service) I have this newsflash for you... IT'S 2014!  Tipping 10% or less is just rude, and it's SO frustrating.

3. bikers in the middle of the road.  it's spring, the bikers are out with their spandex suits and their flashy helmets and they literally take up the entire road.  unnecessary.  I can't pass you because what if you tip over and then I hit you?  I can't stay behind you because I can't make my car go without my foot on the gas.  

4. when people don't understand "reply" vs. "reply all" when responding to an email.  not as much of an issue since I'm not in student organizations or classes anymore.. but still annoying.

5. threading bobbins.  I just hate it.  can't figure it out.

6. kathie lee & hoda.  just stop.  it is never appropriate to drink like that in the morning unless it's homecoming, or you're tailgating.  neither of which are kathie lee & hoda doing.

7. talking on the phone in a group of people and expecting me to be quiet.  dude, are you seriously answering the phone right now?  don't shush me.  don't ask me to turn the tv down.  leave!  go somewhere else!  you're the one who decided to answer the phone!

8. when twist off beer caps don't twist off and I skin my fingers trying to open them.  that is false advertising and all I wanted was to enjoy an adult beverage while keeping all 10 fingers in tact.  is that too much to ask?

9. all those wedding shows where the bride is picking out her wedding dress and has an outrageous budget of like 8 grand.  honey, if you have $8,000 to blow on a dress you're literally going to wear one time and then probably trash for one of those "rock the frock" wedding photo shoots, I've got $22,000 in debt you can help pay off that'll go to a more worthy cause.

10. when people tell me my hair is so adorable but they could never go short.  why does it have to be that big of a deal?  do you think before anyone chops 12 inches off their hair they're thinking "like omg my hair is going to look super feminine and gorgeous when it's half an inch long!" also I'm not 13, I'm not going for "adorable" anymore.

TGIF y'all!!  Have a splendid weekend filled with your favorite things!  Peace 'n blessings :)

Life without religion?

I'm very familiar now with the commute from my rental home in Indianapolis to my home church in Plainfield.  It takes about 30 minutes depending on traffic, and I try to bring friends along whenever I can so I'm not belting show tunes by myself.

On this route there is a particular billboard that stands out to me, right before I get on the highway.  It's a picture of a woman's face, and next to it are the words:

"Millions of people are living happily without religion."

Maybe you've seen one like it?

Sponsored by the Center for Inquiry, the billboard is advertising secularism for people who don't have present beliefs or haven't committed to a belief system.

(I had to look up the definition of secularism.. )

This billboard at first made me angry.  The way it ironically bore it's smiling face at me each time I headed to my place of worship.  I just wanted to yell at the lady on the poster and be like, "Yeah well millions of people are living happily WITH religion too, lady!"

And living eternally I might add!

However, now when I pass the propaganda, it makes me giggle because what they are advertising, while it's not "religion", is a place or a group or a system of beliefs for people who don't have one, or who don't want to be "religious."

But isn't that part of the definition of religion?  I mean take out the god or gods you believe in and the rituals and traditions and what have you, and a religion, a church is a group of people who share a set of beliefs who come together for support and for company and for peace of mind.

So, are they advertising:

"living happily without religion" 

or 

"living happily because we don't have to call ourselves religious even though for all intents and purposes we essentially are"

The last thing I want to do is debate secularism vs. christianity or any other religion, but if you think about it this seems like a case of the pot calling the kettle black, doesn't it?

New Year's Revolution

Good evening blogosphere!  And a grand welcome back to.. myself.. as I seemed to have taken a semester long hiatus from doing any writing!  In case you didn't know, I finished my undergrad just a few short weeks ago and am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my diploma in the mail!

Wooooo so let's get down to business!

So I'm currently snuggled under the electric heat blanket in a guest bedroom of my grandparents house in sunny  warm  sub-zero Minnesota.  One of my favorite places to visit growing up, I still get giddy when I get to grandma and grandpa's big, familiar house.  As I've grown up I've been truly blessed to have all of my grandparents (that's 9 to be exact..) around and *relatively close by.

*relatively as in within 10 hours driving distance....

Now though, it's a different kind of fun being with my grandparents because now I actually have to opportunity to get to know them as individual people, and not just fun visitors who usually have presents or cookies for me.  Now, I am interested in talking to them about things I know, learning from and teaching them the ways of our worlds.  This morning afternoon (literally 12:15) once I made it out of bed, the discussion was New Year's resolutions... or as I drowsily named them "revolutions."  We all got a good laugh as I welcomed a cup of coffee and the conversation was dissolved with my brain fart as we retreated to the sun room.

As I lazily hung out today I kept coming back to this "revolution" idea.. and I gotta say, I think I kind of like it!  I mean usually our resolutions are to lose 15 pounds, exercise daily, stop drinking pop, stop drinking period... but it's always kind of got a negative connotation.  Like, "oh I need to start out the new year by punishing myself for the way I ended the last."  But instead today I got to thinking, "I'm going to revolutionize 2014 by implementing something to really radically change the way I live this year."

A mixture of my verbal slip and an article I found at Relevantmagazine.com (an awesome! online magazine for today's believers) called 13 Lessons I learned in 2013 started off with the idea of choosing "One Word" with the idea that instead of coming up with a list of unrealistic goals as a resolution that won't last 5 minutes, to choose one word that you will use to shape everything you do in the coming year.  I'll let you go out and read the article so I don't have to paraphrase it here, it's a really great one!!!

Even though I had already decided on a resolution, I'm going to try to become a vegetarian..., I am going to do this "One Word" thing too.  I've got my list down to two words I'm choosing from, and maybe there's a way for me to whittle them down into one.

My first choice is enough.  This is kind of a broad option, but it's also straight to the point.  I want to recognize how much is enough.  Just to use enough for me and not be gluttonous or excessive in my thoughts and actions.  Try to live as simply as possible and be thankful that all I have is enough.

My second choice is intentional.  This is something I sometimes struggle with.  To be intentional in every single thing I do.  To make realistic goals and intentionally try to achieve them.  To leave no to-do's uncrossed, but to also put a few on my list that will take hard work to accomplish.  To have and to know the reason behind everything I do, every decision I make.

What do you think?  Is a 2014 going to be revolutionary for you?

Happy New Year!

Who really knows?

I feel a big vent coming on.  Actually it's already started.

From a few big disappointments that have hit me the past few weeks I just feel like I keep getting hit while I'm down.   Like that can't catch a break, drowning, screaming with no voice feeling.  Can I get an Amen?

Well, tonight after a truly inspiring viewing of the documentary Half the Sky (only a 40-minute version as the entire program is about 4 hours long) and consecutive discussion with a representative from the Circle of Sisterhood organization it was time for our weekly house bible study.  This week however was the once-per-month "Odyssey" meeting, which is for members of all Greek houses on campus to get in the word together in one place.  When it's Odyssey week we try to go as a group.. anyway the speaker tonight was talking about making decisions.

Now, I will preface this post by saying that I did take away some very interesting and useful information about making a mission statement for my life and prioritizing my values and what not.  However, I have about had it up to my double chin with people condescending my Christianity... and I'm not even talking about non-believers!  This guy started off his talk and naturally had to throw in drinking and sex right off the bat.

Okay, I'm sorry but drinking and sex are not the only 2 things that happen in college and quite honestly I think sitting in a fraternity basement filled with 19-21 year olds and telling them that you can't hang out with your boyfriend with the door closed is gonna do more harm for them than good.  And even though he did share some really insightful stuff about faith-based decision making I think his presentation would have been 100 times better if he had left the sex talk out of it.

I'm not just saying this because it made me feel bad, and I don't like to be reminded of past mistakes or pain or whatever, I'm saying this because I know many of those students probably felt somewhat victimized by the topic of the conversation, when it was supposedly supposed to be about using faith in your long-term life decisions with where you wanted to go in life.

There are a million different ways to live a life for Christ.  I believe that giving your heart, and committing your life to Him is the first step for any Christian, but there is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" Christian.  I believe that it is important to know your convictions, and to align them with scripture and to follow your conscience, but I also believe that this looks different for every person.  For instance, I'll use the door-closed example.

(Please note that I do not have any sort of boyfriend.. so no, Mom, I'm not trying to justify why I want to watch Bridesmaids with the door closed)

Essentially the example the speaker gave was that why is it necessary to hang out with your boy/girlfriend with the door closed?  If nothing "evil" was going on in there then why is it such a big deal to leave it open?  Because if you close it, what is the guy across the hall going to think is going on in there?  And weren't you just sharing your faith with him?  Do your actions match your words?

The whole time he was saying this I felt myself regressing to my teenage years, where yes I did have a boyfriend, and I can see where this is a relevant point to be made to my former self; but you know I don't understand where he got off telling a group of again 20 somethings this in a FRATERNITY BASEMENT.  Dude, I know first hand the kind of crap that goes on down there, like who does he think he's talking to?

Doesn't the fact that 100 Greek students came out at 10:00 on a weeknight maybe show that we are in some way, shape, or form devoted to our faith and/or beliefs?  And we are adults now, or getting there, we (or at least I) have a pretty good grasp on who I am, on my convictions and Jimminy Cricket pitched a tent in my heart a long time ago.  I think that if someone is a Christian, and has a boyfriend or whatever, and wants to hang out with them then let them!  They have their convictions, they know what the Bible says, and if someone is assuming they're doing something they're not quite frankly, who cares!?  In the end if that's not the truth that person just wasted their night judging someone's level of Christianity by the fact that they had someone in their room with the door closed.

I really, truly am not trying to step on anyone's toes by sharing this, but you know I just believe that faith is really perceived in different ways for lots of people, and God is the only one who knows who's right or wrong.  He's the only one who knows EXACTLY every single word, phrase, metaphor in the Bible means.  And do you really think that if He sees in someone's heart that they have committed themselves to Him, and know in their heart and mind what their relationship is with Christ, that He gives a flying rat that they had a beer while watching a football game or wanted to watch a movie with the door closed?

I just don't think so.  And I know that I could be wrong, that I don't know how God thinks or what He thinks.  It really just hurts my heart that people try to say that they do.

Pieces of the people we love

I'm a very emotional person.

I'm a very loving person.

I'm a very fragile person.

These three qualities, mixed into one person, can be diabolical if all activated at the same time.  

I'm emotional because I am a woman, because it's in my blood, and because it's in my heart on my sleeve.  

I'm loving because I come from a large family, because I know I am loved, and because I know what it feels like to love someone unconditionally.  

I am a fragile person because I wear my heart on my sleeve, because I have had my love broken, and because I let the little things get to me.

So what do you do?  Because every single day in this world brings something to your table that could tear it all down.  A death in the family, a failed exam, a poor decision.  How do we go on, day by day? What are we holding on for?

Each day I open my computer as I'm getting ready for class and turn on music.  From KLove to Third Eye Blind Pandora to A cappella, to get me in the mood to face the day.  But before I open my browser, before I check my e-mail I take a second to look at my background photo.  Each and every day since probably last October I have taken a moment to soak in a picture of me, Amy, Abi, Clara, Georgie, and Emily, sitting on a silly statue in Brussels, embarking on the biggest adventure of our lives.  And I miss them, I love them, and I am heartbroken that my trip has ended.. nearly a year ago and it's hard to believe.

Every day I am exposed to so much selfishness, self-pity, and general discontent that it would be so easy for me to just say, "Screw it all, I give up."  As I sit here, feeling sorry for myself, embarrassed for something I said or did or wore, mad because my hair looks silly, yet feeling bad because I know I complain about it too much, I forget about this image that I see every single day.  Of these girls, these international women, who didn't know me from Adam (or Eve) yet trusted me enough to travel internationally with them, spend 1/3 of a year living life to the fullest with me, and now looking back these women mean so much to me.  These women have always meant so much to me, because they have always been in my life, whether I've known it or not.

And that's all it takes, that's what I'm living for.  To send a card to my brothers and cousins even though they're only an hour away.  To think and pray about my friends here and abroad, because we all have impossible schedules, with or without a time difference.  To remember that whether I'm lonely or not, overwhelmed or not, disappointed or not, that what ever is going to happen has already been planned, and whether I'm going to mope around and pout about it, or go out there and try to figure out what it is, it's happening. It's happening.  It happened.

Did you get that Bridesmaids reference?

Well anyway, if it weren't for that background picture, the emojees I've got next to my mom's contact in my phone, or the half-tootless smiles I know are waiting for me back home, I don't know where I'd be.

Just some thoughts, feels good to be writing again.  Thanks for reading, friends.

I just. don't. get it.

As I sit here, "studying" with Allie, my pent up energy finally letting itself out at the most opportune time of 10 o'clock... I feel myself really recognizing this immense impasse that is my relationship status.

It seems like every other picture I see on Instagram is two love-birds, matches made in heaven, so happy, so lucky, so blessed.

#okaywegetit

And you know, as 20-something women, we are told daily by our parents and our friends and our loved ones that we are beautiful, our outfits are "So Cute!", and we are sweet, smart, funny, the list goes on and on.  But what is so frustrating to me, is that how is this so obvious to some people, most people even, yet utterly invisible to the opposite sex.

It's like on one hand you have the "there's someone out there for everyone," and "as soon as you stop looking you'll find what you were looking for."

But then you've got half of your friends in this relationship wonderland with support and happiness and flawlessness (or so they make it seem on social media).  And I'm just like, did I miss the memo?

And then you've got my mom in the middle who oh so kindly likes to remind me that some people never get married, that God's plan for some people is to be single.  Forever.  Just shoot me.

Recently a co-worker asked me what my "type" was.  I had never really thought about it.  I guess I've been self soul searching for a while now and hadn't really even considered what it was I am looking for.  So I answered an honest, simple answer.  A good, Christian boy.

Taken aback, he wasn't sure how to reply right away.  He then suggested, in not so many words, that I should check out Christian Mingle.  Yes, the online dating site.  I kindly reminded him that I am 21 years old and am not that desperate..... yet.... thank you very much.

Hello?!!  How come girls who I hang out with, who are my friends, my peers, my equals are cruising the calm seas in the love boat, while here I am, commanding my kayak in the choppy rapids?

Signed,
Irked in Indianapolis