Goin' to the Chapel

It should come as no surprise to you, if you know me at all, that I am a rather enthusiastic fan of weddings.  A wedding enthusiast if you will.  This being said, I very well may have used this title in the past, so my apologies if I'm showing redundancy.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day.  A woman very dear to me is tying the knot with her Butler sweetheart in a quaint Lutheran sanctuary lined with stained glass and rural charm, and I have the opportunity to share in the gospel with the guests a lovely section from Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife, loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body.  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."  This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Now for someone who is new to the submission talk in the Bible, these verses can be kind of challenging to wrap your mind around.  In our bible study this past year we delved into this concept pretty deeply, which I think is an important task to consider if you don't fully comprehend a Godly relationship.  To put it simply, God wants the man in a relationship to take after him, holding responsibility for providing for his wife and creating a safe, holy home for his family.  The husband should do these things as Christ does for us.  By his side, a woman should let her husband care for her, and create a well-rounded, Christian atmosphere for her family.  Again, with the work of God being her example.  Now, the husband and wife, side by side and loving God above all form the body of Christ.

So, I know this is still a lot to digest, but we can save the scripture dissection for another time.  The inspiration behind this post is how the bride has affected my life, and how my perspective on life and love is shifting thanks to her example.

The past year and a half or so have been a rollercoaster of love, infatuation, and heart break...and through it all I've gone from wedding obsessed, to ridin' solo, to trying to be the great girlfriend, to losing myself in trying to fit the mold. 

Yada yada yada.

& people keep telling me, you've got to stop looking, that it's going to happen when and how it's supposed to.  Well yeah, easy for you to say when you married your high school sweetheart.  & while I am trying so so so hard to let the plan run its course, I'm falling off the trail.  Thus, making myself feel as though I'm not even going to deserve whatever the big guy's got in store.

But seriously, my unstable emotions always get the best of me and when I'm waking up every morning from nightmares of failed relationships (pathetic, I know), crying over posted photos, and letting my imagination run wild I can't help but come to the conclusion the fairy tell ending just isn't in the cards for me.

Tonight though, as this matrimony is putting me into an optimistic sense of euphoria, I am going to make a promise to myself.  A promise to stop selling myself short, to pick back up my journal, and to remind my self why I deserve and want a Godly relationship.  I don't think I've lost my way, no, and I think it's important that I realize my heart is in a sort of danger of being tempted.  

So here's a love prayer:

God, 

Thank you for blessing this world with the lives of Shelbe and Joel.  Thank you for putting their example in my eyes, and for giving me the chance to be a part of this momentous occasion.  Be with the wedding party tomorrow, the families, and the congregation as we celebrate in your name.  Please continue to help me let go of the hurt in my past, the mistakes I have made, and the temptations I face.  Thank you for never giving up on me, even though I can't always feel it, I know you are always there.  

Amen. 

The things I love about love

When I asked Emily what I should blog about tonight, and finally decided on love her response was a sarcastic look and the comment,

"But that's what you're entire blog is about."

Exactly!

And after spending this "reading day" (day Butler calls the day before finals actually start) stumbling weddings and quotes, I have found myself once again deep in my addiction to other people's romantic happiness. 

So, I have compiled a small list of things that I think are lovely.  You know like when you see a picture of 2 people in love, hear a set of tender song lyrics, or read something that just melts your heart?  I find myself in these moments all the time, so I'm going to share a few with you.

1.

I find it incredibly, passionately, adorable when a man puts his hand on his woman's face, cheek, neck...when going in for the kiss. 

  I found this picture on StumbleUpon, follow this link to see the entire engagement shoot.

Again, found on StumbleUpon. Honestly what is not beautiful about a soft pillow island?

2.

Songs get me every time.  Sometimes the smallest lyrics get me tearing up thinking,

"If anyone ever said that to me I swear I would die."
Here are a few examples:

"The silence isn't so bad, til I look at my hands and feel sad; cuz the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly."

-Owl City, Vanilla Twilight

"Her lips won't touch the demon wine, but her eyes are full of pure moonshine, & I get drunk just holding her hand."

-Rascal Flatts, Dry County Girl

"But we're gonna start by drinking on cheap bottles of wine, sit talking up all night, saying things we haven't for a while."
-The Script, For the First Time

So, let's recap:
-Can you think of a more creatively romantic way to ask someone to hold your hand?
-Can you imagine someone feeling so engrossed in you just by holding your hand?
-Does it not just sound blissfully, hopelessly wonderful to just sit and reminisce in each others presence?

3.
Again found while stumbling, these are some regular quotes that just make me think about love.  As if I wasn't enough already.

Okay, I know this wedding/love/romance kick is getting a little excessive but I can't help myself!  & yes I know movies aren't the real thing, wedding photos are staged, and songs are written by paid songwriters, but a girl can dream right?

That's what I'll do right now.  Off to bed before another long day of procrastination.

Only one thing missing....

So, I haven't blogged for a long long time.  I'm sorry.  I've missed it, and a recent habit of mine has sparked my blogging interest once again.

STUMBLE UPON.

I know I am a little behind on this ultimate form of procrastination craze, and boy am I sad about that.  For those of you who don't know Stumbling is a term used to describe hours small amounts time spent surfing through hundreds of pages of blogs/websites/articles handpicked to fit your interests.  

When I created my account 2 days ago I said I was interested in things like Christianity, fitness, food, humor, and.....weddings.  This last one is what inspires tonights post.

I am a completely hopeless romantic. 

I cry during romantic comedies.  

I gawk at couples holding hands and flirting in public.

  I daydream of just having someone to spend the rest of my life with.  

And mostly I fantasize about my future wedding.  

The dress: ivory lace with a v-neck front and back adorned with some sort of sash.  

The location: outdoor, or in an old vintage-y chapel. 

 The bridesmaids: many, and wearing simple J-Crew dresses in matching colors but various styles.  

The time: autumn.  

The theme: going with the season, autumn; fully equipped with earthy features to celebrate my favorite time of year.

The decorations: homemade (this will allow me to dip in to my crafty/resourceful/thriftiness)

What's missing?  The groom.

Am I bitter?  No?

 Why would I be bitter when it seems like everyone is growing up, finding the loves of their lives in college, and making plans for the rest of their lives?

Why would I be bitter when the sole wish of my young life is to be in love?

Why would I be bitter when every single wedding that comes up as I anxiously click "Stumble" are the epitome of my big day?

The dresses they wear? Perfect.

The decorations? Definition of craft perfection.

The themes? All outdoor and fall.

Bridesmaids? Flawless.

I see a pattern emerging....

But then I take a look back and think,

 "Is it really the wedding that matters?"

"Once I find the perfect man shouldn't it all just come together?"

"Should I really be spending my newfound time and freedom sulking over what I want in my future?"

I guess I'll just stick to my routine for now:

Praying for my soulmate knowing that God's got him out there somewhere, just waiting to be stumbled upon.