Goin' to the Chapel

It should come as no surprise to you, if you know me at all, that I am a rather enthusiastic fan of weddings.  A wedding enthusiast if you will.  This being said, I very well may have used this title in the past, so my apologies if I'm showing redundancy.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day.  A woman very dear to me is tying the knot with her Butler sweetheart in a quaint Lutheran sanctuary lined with stained glass and rural charm, and I have the opportunity to share in the gospel with the guests a lovely section from Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife, loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body.  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."  This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Now for someone who is new to the submission talk in the Bible, these verses can be kind of challenging to wrap your mind around.  In our bible study this past year we delved into this concept pretty deeply, which I think is an important task to consider if you don't fully comprehend a Godly relationship.  To put it simply, God wants the man in a relationship to take after him, holding responsibility for providing for his wife and creating a safe, holy home for his family.  The husband should do these things as Christ does for us.  By his side, a woman should let her husband care for her, and create a well-rounded, Christian atmosphere for her family.  Again, with the work of God being her example.  Now, the husband and wife, side by side and loving God above all form the body of Christ.

So, I know this is still a lot to digest, but we can save the scripture dissection for another time.  The inspiration behind this post is how the bride has affected my life, and how my perspective on life and love is shifting thanks to her example.

The past year and a half or so have been a rollercoaster of love, infatuation, and heart break...and through it all I've gone from wedding obsessed, to ridin' solo, to trying to be the great girlfriend, to losing myself in trying to fit the mold. 

Yada yada yada.

& people keep telling me, you've got to stop looking, that it's going to happen when and how it's supposed to.  Well yeah, easy for you to say when you married your high school sweetheart.  & while I am trying so so so hard to let the plan run its course, I'm falling off the trail.  Thus, making myself feel as though I'm not even going to deserve whatever the big guy's got in store.

But seriously, my unstable emotions always get the best of me and when I'm waking up every morning from nightmares of failed relationships (pathetic, I know), crying over posted photos, and letting my imagination run wild I can't help but come to the conclusion the fairy tell ending just isn't in the cards for me.

Tonight though, as this matrimony is putting me into an optimistic sense of euphoria, I am going to make a promise to myself.  A promise to stop selling myself short, to pick back up my journal, and to remind my self why I deserve and want a Godly relationship.  I don't think I've lost my way, no, and I think it's important that I realize my heart is in a sort of danger of being tempted.  

So here's a love prayer:

God, 

Thank you for blessing this world with the lives of Shelbe and Joel.  Thank you for putting their example in my eyes, and for giving me the chance to be a part of this momentous occasion.  Be with the wedding party tomorrow, the families, and the congregation as we celebrate in your name.  Please continue to help me let go of the hurt in my past, the mistakes I have made, and the temptations I face.  Thank you for never giving up on me, even though I can't always feel it, I know you are always there.  

Amen.